I can say, I'm pretty sure my only saving grace for not completely loosing my shit last weekend when we moved Anthony into his temporary dorm for Sky Camp, was knowing we would be returning the very next weekend with the rest of his stuff to move him into his official dorm.
Yes, I cried. I cried a lot. But I did not openly wail or break down...much to Anthony's relief. LOL And as hard as it was to move him onto campus, say goodbye, and drive away, I truly know how lucky we were to have that first soft goodbye. It did make this second goodbye not as scary. Still hard. Not as hard as it could have been. I'm thankful for that.
This past week I text Anthony every day. Come Friday, Sam and I had the car loaded with the rest of his things. Saturday morning, we took off back to Ellensburg. It was a much nicer drive than the previous one.
We arrived at Anthony's dorm about noon time. I was so happy to see him!! I gave him the biggest smooch, then we swooped him away, off campus, and we checked into the hotel we'd be staying in that night. We went out to lunch, stopped by a coffee shop, hit up a book store, visited a local museum, then went back to the hotel. We were going to go on a hike, but truly, Anthony just wanted to rest and relax. I get it. He needed a chance to decompress after that first week, and to mentally wrap his head around what was to come.
The rest of the day we just relaxed in bed and did a lot of talking. I'm sure he felt relieved to just be, and have no expectations on him, at least for an evening. He shared with us a lot of what he had learned that week, and I loved it. I tried to soak up every second. He seemed overwhelmed with the week, it's classes, all the information, and all that it held, but still optimistic and excited. And he talked enthusiastically when he shared. Not like he hated the week and was depressed. I felt greatly relieved, and did my best to reassure him that it's ok and normal to feel overwhelmed. Who wouldn't? Moving away from home? It's a lot. Being surrounded by people you don't know? It's a lot. All these new classes with people telling you all this stuff you have to learn and know? It's a lot. Doing ALL of it at the same time? Fuck.
Change is hard and uncomfortable. I promised him things do get better. I don't know the timeline, but things will get easier and better. As he settles. As he grows his skills in time management and study techniques. As he continues to learn. As he builds confidence in himself that he CAN do this.
We ended the night with our favorite show, and Anthony slept on the couch.
Sunday morning we checked out of the hotel and got breakfast at The Early Bird again. We went shopping at Freddie's and Good Will to purchase a few last minute items, and food and snacks for his dorm. Then we headed to his temporary dorm and packed up all of his clothing and bedding. Since we had to wait till noon to check into his new dorm, we started building items in the parking lot while we waited.
Finally. Check in time. Goodbye temporary housing, hello Wendell Hill Hall!
Anthony's roommate, Casey, and his family had already checked in and made their way up to the room. We said our hellos and got right to work figuring out the room. I had my ideas, Casey's mom had her ideas, The dad's had their ideas....but obviously we went with what the boys wanted, lol.
We rearranged things, and Anthony took the bed by the window, which he was excited about. I got to work hanging up and organizing his clothing, making his bed, and getting the bathroom put together, while Sam and Anthony worked on his desk area, the TV stand and entertainment area, kitchen organizer rack, and shoe rack.
It was A LOT of work. And pretty chaotic with two families in the small space. All totaled, we spent 5 hours moving things, unpacking, building, organizing, cleaning, etc. We didn't wrap things up until 5PM. In the end, everything came together beautifully and I think the room looks great. The boys are happy with it, and that's all that matters. I hung some photos for Anthony, and even put up glow in the dark stars, lol.
After the room was complete, and I could not find anymore little things to do to stall, I knew it was time to go. We walked with the boys down to check out the laundry room and the mail area, then said goodbye to Casey, and Anthony walked us out.
This goodbye was different. Not harder. Not easier. Just different. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him in a week like I did after the first goodbye, which made this feel hard to me. I kept wanting to be like ok, see you next weekend! But knew that wasn't true. But on the flip side, I felt better about where he was and glad that now he had Casey, and he was in his real room, and so now he could start to feel more secure and settled. It was bitter sweet. I felt more at peace with where he was. He seemed more at ease and confident with Casey being there. All good things. I felt better about leaving him, but still didn't want to. And I couldn't tell if it felt easier to him or not, if he was being stoic for me, or really did feel ok. In any case, he walked us out to the front of the building so we could get another view of where he was staying, then walked with us to the car, where we hugged and I told him how proud of him I was, and how much I loved him.
Then he ran back up to his room, so I could get a photo of him waving from the window.
And finally, just like the weekend prior, we got in the car, and drove away. Ohhhhh my heart.
It feels weird to me that it's only been a little over a week since Anthony has not been home. It feels like so much longer. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this is it. He's officially moved out of the house and into his real college dorm on campus. I don't know when he will be home next. He didn't want to rush a visit home....but did say he thought he'd come home some weekend in October.
I've heard different things from different people. Not to go home for the first month. Not to go home for the first 2 months. That it doesn't matter at all. I don't know what is considered the best thing to do. I just told him to do what feels right to him, and what he wants. Give himself a few weeks to figure out how things will be, and then maybe make a weekend trip home if he'd like. But if not, if he doesn't wind up coming home until Thanksgiving break, that's ok. I won't be upset. So we will see.
I really hope he feels settled soon. I know that he gets to take his first flight tomorrow morning! He was really looking forward to that, and I'm looking forward to hoping on Life360 to see if I can track his flight when he does! He gets to fly Tues, Weds, Thurs, and Fri this week. Then has the weekend to himself. The rest of the students move in on Thursday and Friday. Anthony was looking forward to some of his friends, including his best friend Owen, who is also attending CWU, finally arriving. Then I think there are a few days of welcome activities for everyone on campus. And then first official day of classes is the 24th. Of course, during Sky Camp, Anthony already got an introduction to his classes. And this week he'll have his first flights. So by the time the 24th rolls around, he would have already been on campus 2 1/2 weeks and gotten a feel for how things will go.
I hope he had a good first night in his dorm last night. And I hope his first flight tomorrow goes well.
For over a year we have been planning and preparing for this very day. Since the day he applied and got accepted to CWU, we have been working our tails off to chip away at not only the monster to-do list of his Senior year, but everything that comes along with preparing for and paying for college. Not to mention everything that goes into simply trying to prepare him as best we can for the transition out of our home, and onto campus.
He did it. And we did it. And now he is there and living it. There's nothing left to do now except to just love and support him on this new adventure. And I can sure do that.
With love,
Mama Hauck
