Every October, our local high school teams all hold their own respective games dressed in pink jerseys, socks, etc, in honor of breast cancer awareness month.
Now, a large part of me doesn't enjoy this. Agree or disagree with me, but the only people I don't get annoyed at for sporting attire that is clearly in regard to breast cancer awareness of some fashion, are survivors and their supporters. Ones who actually KNOW that it's not just pink. That it's ugly, with tears, and scars, and forever fear. In my mind, you are not raising awareness by stripping off your purple jersey in favor of a pink one for a game or two. I sit there in the bleachers and want to scream that the pink is just pink. The players don't care? It's a novelty for the month they have grown accustomed to. I know, a little bitter. I try to squash it. But the pink is triggering.
I'm not just picking on the pink jerseys though. I feel the same with pink and pink ribbons splashed on everything. People will be like, why's it pink? Oh, that's right, it's October, it's to raise awareness for breast cancer. But then do the masses go home and do a self breast exam? They they schedule their mammogram? Do they talk to the women in their life about breast health? Do they donate money to a reputable breast cancer charity that actually donates full proceeds to breast cancer research? Do they find a way to support someone actively going through treatment?
No? I didn't think so.
But maybe....maybe someone does. I can't lump all people together. I'm sure someone decides to start doing self breasts exams and schedules their mammogram. I'm sure someone donates. Just not the masses. Because it doesn't affect you until it affects you or someone you love, you know?
Again, I really do try to just breathe and let it go. I don't want to become that person who starts to build anger over things like this. In this case, they are just kids being kids, playing a sport, wearing pink in October because that's what this school has always done. And for fucks sake, in the end, it's ok. It's actually cool that the school does that. Gives any sort of fucks to make any sort of effort. So while I do a little cringe when I see them switch out their purple for pink, I do get it. And I do appreciate the thought and honor behind it. I think I would feel better about it if before the games, they actually said something about breast cancer awareness, and actually said something to honor those affected. It would feel more meaningful, and less empty. Like just a color.
This year Molly told me when they were going to do it, it wasn't just a weird I show up to the game and boom guess what, all the players are in pink. So I made sure, along with their pink jerseys, I also wore my pink. So people all around me could see that it's not just a color. It's a face. And at halftime I walked down to the field and got a photo with Molly and her soccer team. So that they could feel like their pink was more than pink, that it really was advocacy. So that they could feel some sort of connection between their pink jersey and an actual real person who went through breast cancer treatment. I think participating took some of the triggerness away. And that felt nice.
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