I hate January. In fact, January, February, and March. But especially January. Anyone who knows me knows I detest these months and wish we could skip them altogether, going right from Christmas to April. But that's not how life works. So I try my best to keep my head down and just get through them the best I can.
It's been a little extra difficult to get through January this go-around though. On top of it being a month filled with many negative 1 year health anniversaries, Sammy's been gone since the 13th at a manager's workshop in FL. He comes home the 20th. So a full week home alone with the kids. No big deal. Except it is. Because it's January. I joked with him that something bad would happen when he's gone....because it always does....without fail.
And it did. In the form of freezing temps and a snow and ice storm. One that has lasted days now and has days yet to go. Which under normal circumstances wouldn't bother me so much, because Sam does a great job taking care of snow removal and getting the kids to school safely (because he usually gets off from work with lots of snow and ice). But without him home....that responsibility falls on me....and I'm just an anxiety riddled, 5 foot, 100 pound Mama, who despite having great muscle tone in my arms, still lacks my normal strength and energy post chemo, lol.
Snow and freezing rain in and of itself is stressful, you know? Not just because you have to devote time to snow removal and the fact that it makes animal chores harder, but also because I have to deal with the school issue. Will the kids have school? Won't they? Will the roads be ok for Anthony to drive in safely? That drive to town is treacherous for a normal driver, let alone a new one experiencing their first winter as a driver. The kids haven't been to school all week, it's been cancelled daily, in case you were wondering. So me laying in bed each night stressing about the next morning and what it will look like has been pointless because they haven't had to leave the house at all. But the thing with anxiety is that it doesn't care if it's rational or not, lol.
So all this snow and freezing rain has made us loose water once. That's panic inducing when I have no knowledge of the why and how to fix it. Thankfully Sam called the well guy and he was able to come out and he eventually got it fixed. But anyone I don't know coming to the house to ask me questions about shit I don't know causes me great anxiety. I lived through the experience though.
We've also lost power 4 times. It always eventually comes back on after a few hours, but try having a house full of teens with no power or running water. Stressful.
All of this on top of the endlessly falling snow Anthony and I have to keep up on....it all just feels like a lot. Anthony is doing a great job of keeping the driveway and front gate area done. But my back is killing me from continuously shoveling a path down to the chickens and the goats just so I can do the animal chores.
Anyway, none of this seems terribly bad.....and I know that in truth it isn't....but my amazing ability to think only of worst case scenario and the negative and get myself all worked up and anxious is top notch. So a situation that might not seem so bad to one, seems terrible to me. It's a worthless skill to have, let me tell you, haha.
These are photos from the first dump of snow on Sunday, after we had a little break in the storm. We have three times the amount now, with a lot of freezing rain expected here soon.
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