Loss

Our family has experienced a lot of loss over the past two years. 

Two uncles I grew up with on my Father's side, Uncle Butch and Uncle Buddy
Sam's Godmother, Joanie
Our friend Timo
Our friend and neighbor, Jill
My Great Uncle on my Mother's side, Uncle Joe
My Great Aunt on my Mother's side, Aunt Barb
Our dear friend Jamie
Our neighbor and friend MB
Our friend and kids' old bus driver, Don
And most recently, my Uncle on my Mother's side, Uncle Steven

I don't think I've ever dealt with so much loss in such a short amount of time. I feel like we finally seem to get our hearts a little bit mended back together and then we experience another loss. It's like the lump in your throat never really goes away. 



My Uncle Steven had been battling esophageal cancer for a year and a half before he passed on January 31st. My Mother had been at his side for weeks caring for him during his decline and ultimate passing. I know this has been extremely difficult for her, but I'm thankful she was there. 

We were fortunate enough to have experienced a wonderful visit from Uncle Steven and Aunt Pam in August 2018 to our home. We went blackberry picking, rock hounding, toured Sam's work, went out to eat, and in general just had a very relaxing, fun filled visit. I am so thankful we got to share that time. We will look back on that time with love and happiness in our hearts. 

Shortly after being diagnosed, Sam and I made the trip, without the kids, to visit him. I'm glad we made that trip. We spent hours with him just talking. 

We decided, as Uncle Steven declined in his health, that the kids should remember him as he was, and not how he was becoming. Uncle Steven agreed with this. We did not make the trip to see him as he grew sicker. Though it saddened me to not see him, he knew we loved him, and we knew he loved us. 

Sam, the kids, and I wrote him a letter. The kids each picked one thing they loved about him, and wrote it down. Just a day prior to his passing, my Mother read them to him. (Please disregard the wrong year written on the letters...where was my head. I did fix it before mailing them out.)

This past weekend, we made the drive to Bothell, WA for Uncle Steven's services. It was a very hard day for all, but the services were beautiful. I think Uncle Steven would have approved. The love and emotion in the room was almost tangible.  I'm incredibly grateful we were able to make the trip. I'm also grateful we were able to spend some time with my extended family afterwards.

Back at home, we have added Uncle Steven's photo and polished rocks to our shelf. The rocks were gifts he gave us from a very large collection he had. They are incredibly special. They sit next to a ruler, mechanical pencil, and paintbrush that were my Uncle Joe's. 

Now we will just keep on keeping on, with all of our loved ones in our heart. 

With love,
Mama Hauck