We've got the garden up and running! We started planting seeds and stars the first and second week of May. We had a lot of cooler, windy weather with overcast skies, so things were slower than normal to take off, but we're getting there and finally seeing some great growth.
This year we are doing all of our normal favorites, with a few new ones. We've got snap peas, green beans, carrots, beets, radishes, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, broccoli, corn, raspberries, and strawberries.
The snap peas really struggled this year! We did a mix of starts on the left, and seed on the right. I had a lot of starts die, and a lot of the seeds not take. The wind also just really did a number on them. I kept pulling up the dead and replacing with new starts. It took a long time for them to grow big enough to cling onto the trellises and steady themselves, but finally we got there! I've got lots of flowers coming on now, so ready to pick snap peas will soon be in my future!
We haven't planted carrots for a handful of years now, so we thought we would give it another go. The first two years we did carrots, we got an amazing harvest. Then after that, we were definitely on the struggle bus and our carrots were small and weird. So it'll be interesting to see how this year goes. We planted the carrots from seed.
We planted a bed of green beans from seed, and they all came in.....and then a frost came and killed them all. So this is take two for green beans! We did starts for the second try. Again, because of so many overcast days, growth has been slow, but we're starting to take off now.
I loved eating the beets we planted last year, so I wanted to be sure to plant more this year. We decided to split a bed in half and do beets in the front, and radishes in the back. Both from seed. The beets came in spotty, but that's alright. Once we harvest them, we'll be able to plant another round. We've never done radishes before, so I was super excited! While everything else has been slow to get going, the radishes sure took off! They did so well, we've already harvested them all! We'll be doing another round of radishes soon for sure.
This is year two for my new raspberry bed. I had an established bed for years on the right side of the garden, but we wanted to move it to the left side of the garden to make it easier to walk around, so we killed the first bed and got a few new starts for the new bed. Last year those starts took off and grew great, but no raspberries. This year the bed has just exploded and is as full as full can get! I'm unsure if I'll get raspberries this year or not. So we're playing the waiting game.
Broccoli is a staple in my garden, we do it every year from starts. We probably overfilled the bed this time, but so far so good. They are growing great and all but a few have heads starting to form on them.
We've had the same strawberry bed since we started the garden....I don't even know how many years ago now. We just take out the dead after a few years to make room for new shoots. I've only had to plant actual strawberry starts in the bed a few times. Its awesome to just let it do it's thing! We've already got a bowl full of berries, with TONS more on the way!
Exciting news, we started a second strawberry bed this year! Our neighbor had a whole bunch of starts he offered us, and since I'm a sucker for strawberries, I couldn't say no. Since we didn't have room in our existing bed, we decided to just start a second bed. I'm super excited!
Brussel sprouts are new for us this year. We planted 6 starts in a little bed. I know nothing about growing brussel sprouts, so we will see what happens!
I don't like tomatoes, but Sam does, so he always gets a couple starts. We lost one during that frost I was talking about that killed all our beans, but no biggie, we just replaced it. Now both are thriving and we've been able to take down the insulating water bags.
This is our second year doing corn from seed. Last year went well. This go-around, we definitely struggled. We planted a whole bed, and only a few came up. So we planted again. And again. We're still pretty spotty, but FINALLY we've got a bunch popping through.
I'm definitely looking forward to being in the garden more this year. Sam and my Dad did most of the work last year because I was going though chemo, and then had my mastectomy surgery. And while my energy levels still aren't where I'd like them to be because healing post chemo takes forever, I AM feeling better, and so I'm able to participate more.
14 rounds of Kadcyla immunotherapy infusions...check!
I have waited 18 months to be able to say I'm finished with my active breast cancer treatment, and the day has finally come! I am SO relieved to be done with my infusions and to never have to go back up into the infusion suite again.
To make the day even more special, I planned a fun outfit, complete with tutu, custom tank top, and head band. All the Dr's and infusion nurses got a kick out of me dressing up, which made me happy. I also invited the grandparents to come with us to Portland and come up to watch me when it was time to ring the bell.
Ringing the bell felt much more meaningful this go around compared to the one after chemo. I know wrapping up chemo was a momentous moment, and I was SO VERY THANKFUL to be done, but I felt upset that I had more infusions in my future, something I had only found out that very morning, so I wasn't as happy as I should have been because finishing chemo felt overshadowed by future infusions.
After ringing the bell, taking photos, and saying goodbye to the infusion nurses, we enjoyed a nice lunch out in Hood River. It was a great day!
RINGING THE BELL FOR MY LAST INFUSION!!!
So what's to come?
Survivorship. The time between when active treatment ends...and the rest of your life.
While active treatment might have been the hardest part of my cancer journey physically, I'm quite worried that survivorship will be the hardest part of my cancer journey mentally and emotionally. The continue self-esteem issues. The intense fear of reoccurrence. The PTSD. I know I haven't even begun to unpack the trauma my breast cancer diagnosis has brought into my life. Healing takes a lot of time. There are no rules.
Moving forward:
*I will be on a hormone blocker pill called Tamoxifen for 10 years. I will take this once daily. As of the end of infusion treatment, I am 4 months in.
*I will get a mammogram yearly each J.
*I will do monthly self-breast exams.
*I will check in with my main Oncologist every 6 months for the first few years.
*I will check in with my Surgical Oncologist every 6 months for the first few years.
*I will check in with my Reconstructive Surgeon once a year.
*I will have periodic pelvic ultrasounds due to the risk of uterine cancer from the Tamoxifen. (Fucking great).
*I will work on my mental and emotional health through reading and possibly a counselor.
*And most importantly, I will continue to work with my Naturopathic Oncologist in an effort to do whatever I can do to lower the risk of reoccurrence. This might include further testing and supplements.
But somehow, all of that doesn't seem like enough. Har far will all of the above go to ensure my cancer doesn't return? And if it does, it's caught in a timely manner? 1 mammogram on my unaffected right breast once a year? A physical exam on my mastectomy and implant side every 6 months? Is that really enough? I feel like I wish I could get a PET or an MRI scan done yearly as well. That would make me feel a whole lot better, though I don't know how safe that would be. Will I know if my cancer returns? Will I be able to spot the signs and symptoms? The fear is incredibly overwhelming. I am beyond happy to finally be finished with active treatment after a long 18 months...but now I'm left feeling more scared than ever. For 18 months I have had bloodwork done and eyes on me every 3 weeks. I became comfortable and felt safe and supported with that level of care. And now? I feel like I'm being given a slap on the back with a thumbs up and a "good luck!"
I know I should be feeling strong, grateful, happy, and ready to face survivorship and life head on...and I am....but I'm also scared.
