Dear Molly,
Sometimes I feel like you are unintentionally overlooked a bit because of your independent nature and being the middle child. I am so sorry. I don't mean to. I know you feel stuck in the middle.
Anthony is the oldest and circumstances always arise for him to do different things because he is the oldest. I know and trust a lot of his friends' parents and so I am more inclined to say yes to different activities that come up for him. He has always been the first, and so he paves the way and I am learning right along with him what it takes to be a Mama to a kiddo his age. Often times I feel lost, not knowing what in the hell I'm doing, so I spend extra time with him, making sure I get things right. I also spend a mass amount of time working with him on Cub Scouts items and homework.
Timothy is the youngest and not in school yet; he is with me ALL the time, attached to my hip, a bit spoiled, I admit, because he is "the baby." He runs to the open spot on my lap. Because he is up first, he fills the nook between Papa and I on weekend mornings in bed. Because he is home with me all the time, he does everything with me...grocery shopping, library, lunch out, painting, walks, etc.
And then there's you. Stuck in the middle. Not the oldest and able to go off and do all these things yet, but also not the youngest and home with me all the time. You are the most independent, watching and learning the ropes from your brother...you already know what's up by the time I'm ready to address something with you; you "already know." I don't have to hound you to do your homework, you sit down and do it all on your own. I don't have to hound you to do your reading. I look over and you've already got a book. You LIKE to do your homework and you don't often ask for homework help; you get the job done and get it done well. You don't often come complaining to me that you're bored and looking for something to do; you're off doing your own thing...singing your own songs, dancing your own dance. You don't ask for much. You don't whine much. You're not the squeaky wheel.
I know you don't always feel heard, but I hear you. I know you don't always feel seen, but I see you. I know you feel stuck between the two that seem to get more of my attention, and my heart aches thinking you feel left out. It's not a nice feeling, is it? I know.
On Sunday when I asked who would like to stick around and help me with my photo shoot, you were the first to jump up and offer help. It was cold, windy, and rainy, yet you stuck it out and helped me. Then afterwards, when I asked who wanted to go grocery shopping with me, you were the first to say yes. And so we went grocery shopping where we both agonized over the perfect spring dress for you and then what lego set you were going to spend your money on. Afterwards we went to Double Berry where we loaded up on ice cream. On the way home, you told me how it was the best day ever and you had so much fun with me. I cried. It was the best day ever for me too, Sweet Pea. It made my heart so happy to spend that time with you; just you.
I will do better. I will try harder. I will listen more. I will seek you out more. I will include you more. I will ask more of the right questions. I will sit with you more. I will snuggle with you more. I will hold that hug just a little bit longer. I will say yes more when you ask if you can help me. I will make more of an effort. I will do better to carve out the time.
I love you all equally, but it's hard to juggle my time equally between you three. I try my best, but I feel as if I am failing you in this aspect. I promise to do better.
Time keeps marching on and you continue to grow. I don't want to look back on these years and feel like I missed out on watching you blossom. I don't want you growing up not telling me things because you think I'm too busy to listen. I don't want you not bothering to ask me because you're so independent and you know you'll just figure it out on your own somehow.
I am your Mama, and I love you more than anything. We are in this life together. I'm not too busy to listen. You can always tell me and ask me anything. You can always come to me. I will always help. I will always, always, always make the time.
I know that if I want to be included in your life later, I need to be more present now.
I love you, Molly Lynn Elizabeth.
With love,
Mama Hauck
Two weeks ago, I officially registered Timothy for Preschool.
I don't know how it's already time to be thinking about Preschool. Where the flip has the time gone!? How can this baby face possibly be old enough to put on a back pack and leave me?
I'm in denial.
At least it's just for a few hours 3 days a week.....and he doesn't actually start till September. So I still have plenty of time to get all worked up about it. Hahaha!
Timothy, you are growing in leaps and bounds. I know you are ready to spread your wings and exercise your independence. While I will always picture you being my little baby, you are indeed growing into a mighty fine little man and I am so proud of you. I promise to never hold you back. You are going to have so much fun meeting new friends, you silly boy! You will love your school and you will love your teacher. You already know so much, but you will learn more and grow in different ways and I will delight in watching you!
Just don't forget, this Mama will be always be waiting for you at the end of the Preschool day with open arms, ready to swoop you up.....or not.....because maybe that wouldn't be cool in front of your new friends. Ok, so I'll settle for holding hands. Or a high-five. And then you can give me a kiss when we get in the car. If you want. Hehe
Love you, Sweet Pea.
With love,
Mama Hauck
It's been a while now since my family and I have started on our journey to a more happy and natural life. It really has been a journey, with big changes and small changes, with a lot of trial and error, hits and misses, wins and losses, and with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. It can feel overwhelming and all consuming at times because for the most part, I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I know what I want to do and what changes I want to make, but not always how to go about it. It's all part of the journey. As long as we just keep chugging along, growing with knowledge, making changes here and there when we can, I'm happy.
My first step to a more happy and natural life started with Timothy's home water birth. That was an amazing experience that I would do again in a heartbeat were we to have another child. From there, joining the farmers market with that community of people sharing their knowledge of fresh produce and homemade products....it really started to open up our eyes to some of our not-so-great decisions. As our knowledge grew, so did our ambitions to do better.
Food wise in our home, over the past few years, it's slowly been out with the bad and in with the good! We've really worked hard on this this past year. Definitely still a work in progress and we're not perfect, but we have done well to overhaul what is in our home. All good changes take time and I'm happy with the progress we have made! Fruits and veggies are always in abundance here. We purchase organic when possible. We get our eggs from our neighbors when we can and purchase our beef from my friend and her family who raise cattle. A garden is on my long to-do list, I just feel swamped with getting that going. At least I've got raspberries growing in there! Thankfully our friends and neighbors share their bounty with us when they have surplus and we truly appreciate their produce going towards all of our canning fun!
We purchase far less pre-packaged foods than before. We have replaced a lot of items with healthier versions and have just done away with some things all together that were just poor choices to start with. I've replaced the boxed and canned lunches with homemade versions; like my homemade stove top mac and cheese and my homemade spaghettio's. We try for more full, healthy fats and less refined sugar. We never eat fast food anymore. We plan accordingly and pack a lunch or make the time for a proper sit down meal at a restaurant. Soda and juice are completely gone from our home, though those were things that were very limited in our home anyway, even before Timothy was born. Water and hot brewed tea are the house favorites.
Of course, we still love our treats and sweets. I don't go without my dark chocolate, and my kiddos get my famous chocolate chip cookies on special occasions, but in general, we are doing better with limiting the sweets. We talk openly with the kids about making good choices and I'm proud when I see them make a good choice at home and even while out and about! Yahoo!
All in all, I'd say we're doing mighty fine!
After making changes to what we put in our bodies, I wanted to make changes to what we put on our bodies. My adventure with diy beauty and toiletry products all started with foaming hand soap and essential oils. A year ago I attended an essential oils class with two friends where we made our own foaming hand soap. That led to making my own toothpaste, deodorant, armpit detox, Epsom salt bath soaks, and sugar body scrubs. I've tried my hand at lotion and body wash as well, though I haven't been able to find a recipe I like for those that work for me the way I'd like them to. Ideally, in time, I would like to make the majority of our beauty, toiletry, and health items, but finding the right recipe, or the right combination of ingredients that works with your body and suits your needs takes time and patience. It's a trial and error process, taking lots of research, time, and the initial investment of proper, healthy ingredients. You can find the homemade toothpaste recipe here. It's my top favorite diy product. It's done a great job with whitening my teeth, I love it!
Shortly after my first round of diy's, I progressed to other aspects of natural body care....
Every morning I wash my face with local raw honey I purchase here in Goldendale at the Gristmill. Every night I wash my face with an olive oil and castor oil mixture. This is the method I use. I have "combination skin," on my face, which means my face is dry and itchy, but I get oily quickly at the same time. Weird. You wouldn't think that using oil to wash your face would help with this issue, but it does! The oil mixture is super moisturizing, helping with my dry skin. For whatever reason, over time, I saw a decrease in the amount of oil my skin made throughout the day. So now I have well moisturized skin with significantly reduced oil. Nice. Witch hazel is also worked into my facial routine every now and again. I go sans makeup when I'm not leaving the house....which is most days. If the money ever flows in, I've found a line of natural makeup I'd like to try, since I do enjoy wearing makeup when I'm out and about.
Most recently, I've started dry brushing my body and face, which I've read is super good for softening skin, circulation, and lots of other things. I'm enjoying that and excited to see what, if any, benefits come from that. You can read about dry brushing here. And this is the body brush I have.
When I don't have what's needed to make something or when I'm not sure I could pull it off right, I try to purchase homemade from others. Like the healing salve I use for cuts and burns, soap, bug spray, sun screen, and lotion bars. I've also got some magnesium spray my friend made me.
When I can't make it and can't buy it from someone, I at least try my best to buy as all natural and chemical free as possible. I've changed up our soap/body wash, shampoo, conditioner, baby powder, baby butt cream, eczema cream, kids' toothpaste, mouthwash, lotion, hair de-tangler, and switched to all cotton feminine products. I've had good luck with The Honest Company and their products and I really like Dr Bronner's products as well!
Physical health wise, Sam has been smoke free for almost a year now, has dropped a ton of weight, and has become a kick-ass runner. Even the kids run with him for a short distance, which is super awesome. As for me, I've gotten into yoga and most recently have started following some home work-out videos that I'm really enjoying. My biggest goal is to reduce stress, reduce pain in my back, shoulders, and neck, and gain energy so I can feel less fatigued. I'm enjoying the little changes here and there with my body that comes along with it too.
I also made it a point to get to a physical therapist for my wrists. I was taught wrist exercises/stretches and things I can do when I have a flair up of pain from too much camera time, computer time, or time spent painting. Along with that, it's been stressed to me the importance of saying no when I honestly feel like I can't do something because of my wrist pain. I hope to get better with saying no....because that two letter word is pivotal to my mental and emotional health as well!
As far as the home goes, there's been changes there as well. We have a Himalayan salt lamp in every room. They are suppose to cleanse and purify the air, among other things. You can read more about them here or here. Whether they do all they claim to, I'm not 100% sure, but I do love the ambient glow they give off and they make the best night lights for the kids. I also invested in an essential oil diffuser. I use this instead of candles and I love it. Lavender is my favorite essential oil to diffuse and I can feel my sour mood lighten and myself chill out when I have it on. I purchased the Green Air Aromatherapy Ultrasonic Essential Diffuser and love it! Most recently that one in particular has gotten some bad reviews saying that after a while the bottles don't stay put up in the diffuser, and I'm having the same issue with my smaller bottles of essential oils, but when that happens, I just put a flat rock under the bottle to leverage it up and all is well. Nothing to freak and complain about when the product as a whole is wonderful and is the type of diffuser you want, not the one that uses water to dilute the essential oils.
For home cleaning, I decided to try my hand at making some of my own cleaning products, like an all-purpose cleaner, a window cleaner, and an air freshener. I purchase greener versions of dish detergent, laundry detergent, and toilet cleaner....though making them myself would be awesome; I just haven't taken that leap yet. For Christmas I got wool dryer balls so I could get rid of the dryer sheets and I love them!
We've gotten rid of all of our plastic storage containers and made the switch to glass and metal. I also overhauled the kids' lunch gear and switched to stainless steel drinking thermoses, lunch containers, silverware, and cotton reusable napkins and sandwich bags so I don't have to use throw-away plastic bags. I also purchased a few hot-cold thermoses so they can take hot items to school and still have them be hot for lunch! This opens up a whole new lunch menu for them which I know is greatly appreciated.
Well there you have it! Those are the changes we have slowly made food wise over the course of 3 years and the beauty, home, and physical changes we've made over the course of 1 year. There is still so many things I want to do, products I want to make, and changes left to be made, but I am very pleased with the changes my family and I have made thus far. It's a journey I'm glad we started and I'm excited to see where it leads us in the future! Upwards and onwards. I couldn't be more proud of my family!
With love,
Mama Hauck
