Back in January, around the time I received my breast cancer diagnosis, we suddenly lost my horse Ellie.
Then in February, I made the difficult decision to sell my love, Maizy, so we could not only help pay some of my medical bills, but more importantly so she could go to a family who would give her the attention she deserved. It's not that I never got down to the barn, its just I didn't like her being alone (it was traumatic for her to lose Ellie as well), and I definitely didn't get down to the barn as often as I should have. I knew that would only get worse after I started treatment, and then again in summer during surgery recovery. And honestly, who knows how long my lack of energy from treatment would last. And lately, even when I was getting down to the barn, it was to just sit and hang out. Which for a horse is awesome to not have to work! But Maizy was incredibly in your pocket...she didn't know what personal space meant. And I always ran the risk of being stepped on when hanging out in the round pen or pasture. Going through chemo and surgery, being tired and weak, I really couldn't run the risk of being stepped on.
All this to say, I made the best decision for Maizy. As much as I didn't want to sell her...as much as I love her....as much as she might like to just lounge around and be a pasture pet for a long while....I knew the BEST thing for her was to go to another loving family. It completely broke my heart, and I miss her every day, but I rest easy knowing my neighbor and I (my neighbor Tami helped me with the process) found her the perfect new home.
Since loosing Ellie and selling Maizy, my barn has sat empty. It's hard looking down there and seeing nothing. My eyes still search for the horses, expecting to see them. It's been tough. One day I hope to have a horse again. When this cancer journey is over and I've had some time to reflect on it all and the chance to save up again.
In early Spring, my friend Mary's Mama goats all had their babies. She wound up with 12 babies in total! I joked with her a few times, as well as with Sam, that I should get a goat. I could go down to the barn and snuggle them and lay around and not run the risk of being stepped on and hurt. Nothing came of the joking around until my Dad offered to buy me two as an early birthday gift.
Before I knew it we were getting the round pen secure and building fun goat things and I was buying the few goat items I needed! EEKKK!
