I have to say, my desire to be a people pleaser and make others happy sure has taken a toll on me over the years.
I don't know if it's because I don't like to rock the boat and create unneeded tension, or if it's because I don't like the thought of someone thinking ill of me. Or maybe it's because of my desire to live up to other's expectations, or because I feel like I have to prove my self-worth to others.....but holy hell do I get walked all over. Time and time again.
I'm tired. I'm worn thin. I'm done. I don't have the time, nor the desire anymore to please every person that crosses my path. I am suffering, and my family is suffering, due to the time I take to make sure everyone else in my life is kept happy and well taken care of. I have this nagging feeling that my priorities are currently screwy and it's due time for a change.
I mean jimminy crickets, when my son is asking me to play train set with him and I tell him "give me just 5 more minutes" for an HOUR because I'm painting a sign for someone who is going to try to pay me $20 less than what I feel I deserve.....yeah. It's time for a reevaluation of my priorities and who and what should be getting my precious time. I shouldn't go about my days feeling like a bad Mama and wife because I am giving you time that I should be giving my children and husband.
So newsflash....
If you don't deserve to be owed anything by me, then I certainly don't owe you a damn thing. And if you think I do, then you are off your rocker.
I spend hours doing your photo shoot and then working on those photos. Hours that take away from my children. I don't owe you a photo shoot at a discount or for free because you know me. If I set a certain price, I will honor that price because I want to. But don't try to haggle for lower, doing so shows blatant disregard for my time.
I also spend hours crafting and hand painting. More hours taken away from my children. I don't owe you a crafted item at a discount because you saw a similar item on etsy for cheap. Remember, I don't have to kill my back hunched over my kitchen table painting you a custom sign. I paint because I like to.....but not for jerks.
I said no. I have a reason for saying no, otherwise I would have said yes. I don't need to explain to you the circumstances around me telling you no. I don't owe you an explanation.
If you don't value and respect my time, then I don't owe you my time at all. No exceptions.
If you've been a jerk to me, I will be polite and cordial to you because that's how I was raised, I want to be able to sleep soundly at night, and I'm not into heated conflict. But don't expect anything more from me, especially my time or respect.
If you continuous don't put forth the effort when I do, consider this your invitation to exit my life.
You reap what you sow. If you don't put forth the time and effort for something (like Cub Scouts!), please stop expecting me, or anyone else, to bust butt and pick up the slack. If it's important to you, prove it by doing your fair share. If not, leave. Please.
I go out of my way. I put forth much energy, time, and love for the people and causes who are worthy of that time, energy and love because I WANT to. It matters to me. But now I feel the need to draw a line in the sand. Cross it, and I owe you nothing. Make no mistake, what matters more to me than pleasing you is this:
With love,
Mama Hauck
I think it is so important for children to help out with household chores. All of the children make their beds, fold their blankets to the best of their ability, and keep their room tidy. Other chores include clearing the table after a meal, helping to fill or empty the dishwasher, helping to sort laundry, taking the trash out, feeding the dogs, cats, and horse when asked, and other general tidying of the home and yard.
While all the kiddos started out helping around the house at a young age, and are good helpers and do so without complaining (most of the time!), Timothy just takes the cake. I love the fact that he truly enjoys helping me and gets excited when I ask him for some help!
So here is my special "Thank You!" post to Timothy, so he will always remember how thankful I am for his help.....
Timothy, you are the best little big helper in the World! I am so thankful you go out of your way to help your Mama get the housework done. Daily housework is a bit of a drag, but with you helping me out, it isn't all that bad!
You are great at making your bed. No stuffed animal out of place! You also do wonderful work with folding your blankets. I especially like how you sometimes fold them up like a super long burrito, haha.
And separating laundry? Pro status! I dump it all on the living room carpet and then you get to work. Just look at those nice piles separated into Mama and Papa's clothes, Molly's clothes, Anthony's clothes, and your clothes. You even take the time to fold the washcloths and towels! What a sweet boy you are.
You love to vacuum....you don't quite understand that the vacuum has to be level on the ground to really work, but you know you're suppose to push it back and forth on the carpet, and you do a fine job at that for sure! You're always wondering why I go and vacuum right after you just did it, lol.
Watching you sweep makes me laugh. Why do you always insist on lifting up and rolling back the corner of the carpet and sweeping under it? Haha! Whatever floats your boat I guess!
Unloading the dishwasher is a good one for you, you especially enjoy doing the silverware. Throwing them in the silverware drawer every which way is your signature style. I love it and will deeply miss it when you decide to put each kind of silverware in it's rightful place.
I love you, Sweet Pea! Thank you for always being excited to help your Mama out. You make my heart smile!! What am I going to do when you start Preschool in the fall? I guess just wait till you get home to do the cleaning, hehe.
With love,
Mama Hauck
My resolution.....wish.....desire.....mantra.....whatever you want to call it, for 2016 is pretty simple in theory, yet I know it will take some work:
I've come to realize that in order to cure what ails me, I've got to concentrate less on making others happy, and more on what makes myself and my family happy! For instance, getting better at saying no. Knowing it's ok to say no. Not caring what others think when I say no. Knowing my limits and sticking to them. Letting go. Spending more time on self, family, and fun. Spending less time on work matters.
Because, in the end, this is what matters the most.....
Onwards and upwards! As always. Happy 2016!
With love,
Mama Hauck
