1 Year No Evidence Of Disease Celebration

July 13th.

Last year, on July 13th, 2023, I had my unilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and sentinel lymph node dissection. The surgeon got clear margins, and my lymph nodes were clear. From the second I was wheeled out of surgery, I was declared "no evidence of active disease." (Doctors will never say cancer free....it's no evidence of disease, and then eventually in remission.)

This whole journey holds so much trauma for me. Especially that day....mastectomy day. July 13th. But, it's also a day to celebrate. I know this. 

Now, having reached July 13th, 2024, I am 1 year out. And that means I have reached the huge milestone of my first complete year of no evidence of disease. 

Months ago, I'm talking back in January, I had the grand idea of having a "1 Year No Evidence of Disease" celebration on the 13th with all of the family and friends who supported me along the way. I really wanted to show my deep gratitude to everyone for all of their love and support. I wanted to give back. I spent months planning the celebration....the food, fun photo booth with props, decorations, thank you favors, etc.  

Waking up that morning, however, instead of being happy and excited, I was overcome with melancholy and anxiety. PTSD is a bitch. Why did I plan a party on my 1 year mark, when really what I wanted to do was be alone with my feelings? 

But then again, I always want to be alone with my feelings. It's how I cope. 

I suppose, even though the 13th holds a lot of trauma for me, because it's also a day to celebrate, having my party was a way for me to get out of my head for a while and actually have some fun.....instead of thinking and dwelling. Even though having fun isn't what I wanted to do when I woke up that morning, I knew it was what I needed. I needed to get out of my head. 

How is it you can be depressed, anxious, and sad all while also being happy and thankful to still be alive? Being human is so complicated. Healing is so complicated. 

So I plastered on a fake smile and carried on. But soon enough, the smile turned to a genuine one, and I wound up having an amazing time. Which is what I knew I needed. 

Many family members were able to make it, of which I am thankful. My cousin Chris arrived early with our friend Colin, and both of them, along with my dad, helped a great deal with getting the place cleaned up and food prepped. We definitely wouldn't have been able to pull it off without them. 

My celebration ran from 12-6pm. I wanted it spaced out so that people could arrive whenever they wanted, and stay as long or as short as they desired. This way, I wouldn't be overwhelmed with everyone showing up at once. I'm super glad I did it like this, because I was able to greet everyone as they arrived and was able to chat and spend time with most everyone. 

The food was delicious, weather great, and company amazing. I couldn't have asked for more. 

 

The photo booth and props were the highlight of the celebration. I had a polaroid out so everyone could take a polaroid for my scrapbook, and then people used their cellphones for more fun photos. It was super fun to get photos with everyone. I think everyone had a blast and they all loved the photo booth. 

I am extremely grateful to those who have been there to support me during this journey. Deeply thankful to those who showed up to help me celebrate my 1 year milestone. I was surrounded by love, and that meant everything to me.  

1 year no evidence of disease. And many more to come. 

With love,

Mama Hauck