Wednesday, August 28th, was the first day of the 2024-2025 school season!
I wasn't feeling very well that day, so we didn't manage to get back to school photos taken. That's the very first time we've ever missed taking photos. I was pretty upset. The rest of the week I didn't particularly feel well either, it truly was just an awful headache/migraine week. So.....we didn't get back to school photos taken until yesterday.
Oh well. Better late than never!
Anthony is a senior. This is Anthony's LAST first day of school. He's going to have a lot of lasts this year. I knew his Senior year was coming....but my head and heart has been consumed with all things cancer and just trying to survive day to day....so there was no time and space to allow myself to feel and cope with the fact that he is a Senior this year.
But you know what happens when you keep pushing things away and don't handle them? Shit comes crashing down. Hard. So now I am being smacked in the face with all the feels, and truly, it's hard to handle. On top of still trying to heal from cancer. It's a lot. I can't even think about it without my chest getting heavy, my throat tightening, and my eyes welling up.
However, Anthony needs me to be strong and keep my shit together. For him. So I'm trying really hard. He's the stressed and anxious type (like me). And there is so much on the to-do list to get done. It really is very overwhelming. And for real, change is hard and super scary. So I get it. 1 more year and then life changes. He's feeling all the feels too. And it's my job to support him.
So I need to strike a balance between allowing my Mama heart to feel all that it needs to feel this year, while being strong and reassuring Anthony. Change is scary, and it's ok to be sad about all the lasts, and stressed about all the to-do's, and anxious about the future.
But....the best is yet to come!! I promised him that.
We've got this, Anthony.
Anthony Carl, 12th grade
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