Today, my youngest turns 10.
There's no going back from double digits.
There's no going back. Period. And right there is what it all comes down to. The one thing that just breaks my heart and gets me so emotional and worked up. The one thing that I try so hard not to think about, but my mind circles back to it again, and again, and again.
There's no going back.
I can't relive those years. I only have the memories. And no amount of wishing and praying will ever allow me to go back in time to when my children were babies and toddlers. To do those years again. To do them better. To take my time. To slow down. To enjoy it more. To be more patient. More silly. Less stressed and hurried. To just....be better.
I just wish I could do it all again.
I don't know why this is so hard for me. I think about it daily. The endless marching of time.
Timothy, I have always said that you are the jam on my PB&J. The chocolate chips in my pancakes. The salt on my fries. The cherry in my Shirly temple.
You are the very best part of Motherhood.
The very best part of everything.
I couldn't possibly love you more.
With love, Mama Hauck