No one ever told me that parenting would sometimes bring you to your knees and leave you feeling like a complete failure at times. So often I feel as if I am getting it all wrong. I don't know why I ever thought being a Mama got easier the older your children got. Haha, what a silly Mama I was to think that.
I will be the first to admit my life isn't perfect. I am not a perfect parent. My children are also not perfect. I never pretend it is. I never pretend to be. And I never pretend they are. Nothing is perfect...though other people and social media will have you believing otherwise. Don't believe it. Everyone is just afraid of what everyone else will think if they were to find out they don't have all their shit together. That's one of the biggest problems now a days. The huge lie people put out there about their perfect lives, their perfect spouses, and their perfect children who never do wrong. Everyone always posts the good stuff, but never the bad stuff. I get it though. Why would we? So we could feel judged on top of secretly feeling like a failure? No thanks.
I know I typically only post when there is something I am excited about and want to share. Like the kids being on the honor roll, or a fun camping trip we took. Do you really want to read about the fact that I just layed on the couch for 3 days straight due to headaches and literally got nothing done? I was not a productive parent. Do you really want to me to post on Facebook about how Molly and Timothy were fighting over who got to use the computer to do their homework and both lost their temper and started wailing on each other? I wish there was a healthy mix of boasting and humility on social media platforms. I wish it was just a whole bunch of honest people talking about their less than perfect lives. At least that way we could commiserate with each other, support each other, give advice, and know that we were not alone....instead of all the one upping. I would be tickled pink to read that your child accidentally said a cuss word in front of another parent. Or that you had to take away all electronics because your son keeps sneaking the computer at night. Not because I'm glad you had to go through a less than fun life moment, but because it would be nice to not feel like I am the only one, ever, going through those less than fun life moments.
Social media has really created this false image of what parenting (and what your life in general) should look like and you are forever trying to match or exceed those standards even though YOU KNOW they are false standards and everybody's household and lives are going to shit behind closed doors every now and again.
My kids fight like cats and dogs literally all the time. We all argue, yell, make poor choices at times, and in true teenager (and pre-teen) fashion, they can be defiant and quiet literally little monsters that I want to run away from. And while sometimes I feel alone, because no one ever talks about their kids fighting, being defiant, or their less than perfect choices, I know everyone's kids' are like this at times, whether they admit it or not.
It doesn't matter that your life is less than prefect. It doesn't matter that you are not a perfect parent. It doesn't matter that your children are less than perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. It matters that you keep going. It matters that you love them regardless and do your best to parent through all the less than ideal that happens along the way.
Molly and I have a notebook we use to write each other notes. The other day, after a particularly rough evening of pre-teen anger over I don't even remember what, I found this gem waiting for me on my nightstand.
With love, Mama Hauck
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