I have to say, my desire to be a people pleaser and make others happy sure has taken a toll on me over the years.
I don't know if it's because I don't like to rock the boat and create unneeded tension, or if it's because I don't like the thought of someone thinking ill of me. Or maybe it's because of my desire to live up to other's expectations, or because I feel like I have to prove my self-worth to others.....but holy hell do I get walked all over. Time and time again.
I'm tired. I'm worn thin. I'm done. I don't have the time, nor the desire anymore to please every person that crosses my path. I am suffering, and my family is suffering, due to the time I take to make sure everyone else in my life is kept happy and well taken care of. I have this nagging feeling that my priorities are currently screwy and it's due time for a change.
I mean jimminy crickets, when my son is asking me to play train set with him and I tell him "give me just 5 more minutes" for an HOUR because I'm painting a sign for someone who is going to try to pay me $20 less than what I feel I deserve.....yeah. It's time for a reevaluation of my priorities and who and what should be getting my precious time. I shouldn't go about my days feeling like a bad Mama and wife because I am giving you time that I should be giving my children and husband.
If you don't deserve to be owed anything by me, then I certainly don't owe you a damn thing. And if you think I do, then you are off your rocker.
I spend hours doing your photo shoot and then working on those photos. Hours that take away from my children. I don't owe you a photo shoot at a discount or for free because you know me. If I set a certain price, I will honor that price because I want to. But don't try to haggle for lower, doing so shows blatant disregard for my time.
I also spend hours crafting and hand painting. More hours taken away from my children. I don't owe you a crafted item at a discount because you saw a similar item on etsy for cheap. Remember, I don't have to kill my back hunched over my kitchen table painting you a custom sign. I paint because I like to.....but not for jerks.
I said no. I have a reason for saying no, otherwise I would have said yes. I don't need to explain to you the circumstances around me telling you no. I don't owe you an explanation.
If you don't value and respect my time, then I don't owe you my time at all. No exceptions.
If you've been a jerk to me, I will be polite and cordial to you because that's how I was raised, I want to be able to sleep soundly at night, and I'm not into heated conflict. But don't expect anything more from me, especially my time or respect.
If you continuous don't put forth the effort when I do, consider this your invitation to exit my life.
You reap what you sow. If you don't put forth the time and effort for something (like Cub Scouts!), please stop expecting me, or anyone else, to bust butt and pick up the slack. If it's important to you, prove it by doing your fair share. If not, leave. Please.
I go out of my way. I put forth much energy, time, and love for the people and causes who are worthy of that time, energy and love because I WANT to. It matters to me. But now I feel the need to draw a line in the sand. Cross it, and I owe you nothing. Make no mistake, what matters more to me than pleasing you is this: