Life right now feels too busy. I know for some, busy is good. Like my husband for instance, he thrives on being busy at work. He says his productivity skyrockets when he's busy and under a lot of pressure. Me, on the other hand, I flounder around feeling like I'm drowning, get chronic headaches, and sleep horribly.
School, time spent on homework that hopefully doesn't turn into battles, dinner planning and cooking, Country Bumpkin orders, Dr. appointments, grocery shopping, soccer practice, keeping up on housework, endless hours of Cub Scout e-mails and projects and planning and Den Meetings, my blog, birthday parties, painting, dentist appointments, garage sale, photo shoot and working on photos, Farmers Market, soccer games, PTO carnival booth planning, and driving to all these places....driving, driving, driving.....always with at least 1 of my 3 kiddos in tow.
The World just keeps on spinning and I feel as if I'm going to be flung from it as it spins faster and faster and faster. It's crisp blue oceans and earth toned land masses spinning until it's just a blur. Everyone and everything wants a piece of me and I feel like I can't keep up. I can't be everything to everyone. Or be everywhere all the time. Or do everything that I, and others, want. To think I can is a mighty fine thought. To want to is a mighty fine desire. To actually do it is a mighty ridiculous request. Unless I missed something, there is no cape upon my shoulders.
I need more hours in the day.
Or I need to prioritize better.
Or I need to start saying "no."
But I already have told people no for custom orders. I've had to say no to photo shoots. I've had to skip getting Anthony to soccer practice. I've had to miss out on girl's night. I've had to miss Cub Scout Round-table meetings, I've had to cancel a few Farmers Market weekends. I had to feed the kids noodles and sauce 3 days in a row.
It's not fun and it doesn't make me feel great to disappoint people.
Every day I find myself saying, "If I can just get through this week, then..." "If I can just get through September, then..." Well that's a pretty shitty way to think and live though, isn't it? That's more like surviving.
Surviving, not living.
I'm totally surviving September.
And while I'm surviving September, I need to not forget to take time to smell the flowers.
Or watch the beauty of a sunset.
Or hear the happy giggles from my little ones.
Doing so won't make the World stop spinning so fast, but it will give my soul the boost I need to carry on.