Sometimes I feel like I'm failing my children.
I often look at them and just think, I'm so sorry....I don't know what I'm doing, but I promise you that I'm doing it the best I can.
There are just some moments.....
Where one child is in time-out because she's got such a mouth on her. I must sound like a broken record...."You have to think to yourself, is this nice or is this mean? If it's mean, don't do it. Don't say it. Be kind! It's important to have a nice heart." Another child is screaming bloody murder because I told him no. Such an independent boy....sometimes to the point of frustration. And the last child is throwing his pencil across the room because he's frustrated with his homework. I don't know how else I can help him get control of his emotions. "It's ok to feel sad, frustrated, or angry...but's it's not ok to act mean to others because of it. Take a deep breath and calm down. Use your words and talk to me."
And me? I'm ready to crumble into a pile of tears. I feel like I failed somehow. It gets so hard for me to keep my cool sometimes. How can I expect my children to stay calm and collected in the face of a frustrating situation if I can't do it myself? Practice what you preach.
And then....and then Molly apologizes. Timothy completes his task all on his own, showing me he indeed did not need my help. And Anthony writes us this:
And I think to myself, I must be doing something right. I can't be all that bad at being a Mama, can I?....if my children know self worth and how it feels to be confident and independent, strive to do their best in all situations, and hold kindness and compassion in their heart, then maybe, in the grand scheme of things, I haven't failed at all.