This morning started out with me writing to my girlfriend complaining about Mama stuff. In my e-mail, I complained that all my children are sick, I'm running on 0 hours of sleep because Timothy got up a million times during the night, and my car won't start. I used the words, and I quote, "Fuckity fuck fuck!"
And just to add a little cherry on top, I will share with you that Timothy picked a tick up off the floor and handed it to me. A tick. On my floor. In January. Thank goodness he didn't think it was a crumb of some sort and eat it.
I remember before Anthony came, I had all these grand visions of how Mamahood would be. I pictured sitting in a rocking chair singing my little one sweet songs, just rocking away while the sun went down. I pictured myself blissfully cooking dinner in the kitchen with a cute apron on while my baby played quietly and kept himself entertained on the play mat. I pictured painting my toe nails and doing things for "me" while he napped or was off to a friend's house.....just like everyone always advised me to do. I pictured lovingly helping him with school work at the kitchen table when he got older.
And while these things do happen sometimes, in truth....I can't sing, cooking consisted of spending 5 minutes whipping up a tuna casserole while the little one screamed in his johnny jump-up, "me" time was spent falling asleep on the couch, and I suck at math. A lot.
This isn't what I dreamed Mamahood would be. Is this what I signed up for?
Yes. Yes it is. Even if I didn't know it at the time.
With 3 children under my belt now, I have a much clearer view of the realities of Mamahood. All I can do is laugh out loud when I find myself hiding in my bedroom sneaking a candy bar just so I don't have to share it.
You want to hear some Mamahood truth?
I pee in the shower to save time. I totally do. I don't want to waste my time sitting on the toilet when I know I'm just going to get right in the shower. Saving those precious seconds matters. Truly. Besides, it's pretty cool to be such a great multitasker.
Mamahood....it's everything I never dreamed it would be. And I love it.