I did a special Papa and Kiddo photo shoot for my hubby on Father's Day. I didn't have any money to get him anything. But some photos of him with the kids seemed way cooler and more special then anything I could have gotten him anyway. I know something like this will be cherished forever. After the photo shoot we packed a lunch and headed out for a walk/hike. I didn't bring my camera this time and I'm kicking myself for it! We came across a Bullhead (I think, lol) snake and it would have been nice to get some shots of it. And the flowers where we hiked were beautiful! On top of that, one of our dogs took off like a bat out of hell and caught a dang squirrel and proceeded to present it at our feet. How awesome is that!? What a good girl! LOL! Teach me to leave my camera at home....
I know I've already mentioned that I'm very unhappy that it's June and quickly approaching my kiddo's birthdays. You all know this, right? If you've kept up with my blog at all, you might also know that I've written many poems and heart felt posts concerning my kiddos getting older and how I wish it weren't so and all the reasons why I hate it. I'm sorry that I keep rubbing my fear of my kiddos growing older all up in your face, but it is ALL I can think about now a days and I'm feeling extremely sentimental. I just needed to get this off my chest....
I don't just dislike the fact that my children are growing older, I LOATHE IT.
It's taking every ounce of my being to keep my composure. I feel I could burst out in tears at any moment. And DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT reminding me that "time goes by too fast" or think you're telling me some sweet gem of advice when you say "enjoy it while it lasts." OMG, I swear I will punch you in the face and only feel a little bad. Now is not the time to tell me something I already know just because you feel it's your duty to say something when I whine and cry about my kiddos growing older.
WHY, WHY, WHY CAN'T I STOP TIME?!!!!
I was basically dragging Anthony to each new milestone throughout his first year of life without a care in the world. And when he turned one I was so dang excited. Why? I don't know. How foolish of me! But with Molly, I find myself pleading with her not to move on to the next step. "You want to crawl now? Well....ok. But I wish you wouldn't so I can pretend you're still 4 months old. Now you want to try to walk? Lets just stick with crawling, ok?" And I'm acting as if on her birthday she's going to be taken away from me and I'll never see her again. I'm so dreading the day!! No amount of reasoning with myself on how silly this all is makes me feel any better. And it doesn't help my heart any with that fact that not only does Molly turn one, but Anthony turns three the day before. Two tearjerkers within two days? This poor Mama can only take so much. I'm utterly doomed to become a sobbing mess. Can I really handle this two day cluster of heart wrenching emotions every year?
I just wanted you all to know that it is NOT safe to mention anything to me that might make me remember that this coming weekend my babies celebrate their birthday. Let this week drag on and on and just let me believe that this weekend isn't really The Birthday Weekend, ok? And don't be surprised if you see me crying in the corner at any given time. And don't call CPS if you see what looks like me squeezing my children so hard they can't breath....that's just me hugging them....in a death grip. Promise you won't tell me that this is just life and children get older and there is nothing I can do. Unless you want a shiner. Then by all means, go ahead and open your mouth and dare to make me cry.
On Monday I went and took pictures of my friend's little gal Kara. I went over to their house with the kiddos and my hubby and they were so kind to even feed us dinner before I took any photos. How sweet was that!? I was sad because the stork pouch photo prop I ordered didn't get to me in time, but at least the little hat came in the mail. So I was able to take a few photos of Kara with the hat on. She was getting tired and fussy towards the end, so I didn't take as many photos and as good a quality as I would have liked, but there's always next time! You know it's hit or miss with little kiddos. You can't force them to be in a good mood or do anything they don't want to do and you have to be really patient, hehe. Kara and her Mama were pretty exhausted from a long day, so we called it good after a while. I really am hoping they like the photos I was able to get enough for me to return to take more! I really want to try to take some with the stork pouch, more with the hat on, and I'd like to take some family photos too. It was really important to Kara's Mama that I get some photos of her with her little white gown on and then some photos of their wedding rings on her cute little toes. So that's what I concentrated on the most....though only a few of the feet photos turned out.
The family and I spent this past weekend over at my hubby's Godmother's place. The first time Sammy took me there it was May of '05, we had been dating for only 4 1/2 months. Years later we're still stopping in for visits! We go about every 3-4 months. We treat it like our little "resort" where we relax and unwind because they've got a hot tub, a pool, a little creek along their property with colorful chairs to chill out in, a fire pit, lots of greenery and flowers all around, and tons of places to shop at only 10 minutes away. There's always great food to be eaten and many home aide magazines to flip through where you see things you never knew you even wanted....like a toothpaste dispenser? Why not! An audio tape of barking dogs that help keep burglars away? Clever. A contraption that stretches your pants out so you can "eat that one more piece of cake" Umm, do you even have to ask me if I'd buy this? Is my middle name not cake? LOL Those magazines are, quiet possibly, my favorite part of our visit. They save them specially for me too. How sweet.
Though it's not AS relaxing when we go now a days because of the kids (I'm always on the edge of my seat it seems), it's still makes a grand time. The pool was open for the season so of course that was the highlight of the trip. And you can't pass up the invite for a soak in the hot tub. If ya'll haven't read the post below of Anthony's water gurgling adventure, I suggest you get to it. Besides the near heart attack I received, I'd say all in all we had a pretty fabulous time.
He's a pretty good shot with that thing!
My little pool boy, hehe
Molly in the little lady bug. Cute, huh!?
Papa and Mols
Mama and Mols....she fell asleep. ;)
Hot tub time!
The photo I was trying to get when Anthony had his scary hot tub moment
Anth after his heart attack inducing slip into the hot tub. Does he look scarred for life?
Are you trying to give me a heart attack? One day you decide to go missing for a few minutes causing me heart palpitations, hyperventilation, and horrible thoughts of kidnappers, and the next you're trying to drown yourself in a hot tub. I don't know if your life flashed in front of your eyes, but it did in front of mine! I checked the mirror this morning and could have sworn I saw a gray hair on my head. Stress? I mean, come on, Anth. I told you to sit right on the hot tub seat and not move. A simple request, no? Do you realize you're making my parenting skills look very poor? I'm expecting all sorts of "shame on you's" and "what were you thinking" hate e-mails to be sent my way.
All I wanted to do was walk the 10 feet to take a few cute pictures of Molly and Papa. Did you think your blubbering shrieks of, "Mama, Mama!!!" would add to the relaxing atmosphere we had going on? The look of sheer panic on your face and the sight of your arms flailing over your head as you bobbed up and down took years, YEARS, off my lifespan.
I'm quiet impressed with myself though....it took all of one second to get to you and pluck you out. One handed I might add because the other hand was still occupied with my camera. Your upchucking of beef sticks and strawberries all over the ground and my feet was a nice touch to your unfortunate hot tub experience.
Next time you wont move off the seat, will you? But I think if you hadn't freaked so much and over panicked, you would have realized you could have stood and tilted your head just a smige and you would have been fine. But hey, we all know I'm not the biggest fan of water either. The thought of deep water makes me panic. The thought of you and Molly around any type of deep water makes me panic even more...but I try to hide the fear so you two don't pick up on it and let you experience all the joy water has to offer. Needless to say this blubbering, water inhaling experience was SO NOT what I needed to calm my water hating nerves. So lets just agree to listen to Mama next time....for the sake of my health and a long, happy life. Thanks baby boy. I think you owe me a thanks as well....for saving your life!!
*Disclaimer: No children were harmed in the making of this life memorable moment (hahaha). Close calls are going to happen, you can't prevent them all. That's life. If you're a Mama or Papa, you already know this. All you can do is pray you'll be around to keep them as close calls instead of truly horrible occurrences. No hate mail please! :)
On Tuesday while Molly was napping, I decided to let Anthony play on our front porch. I put up the porch gates, got the screen door set up, and heading back in to the house to finish closing up the computer and gather drinks for him and I.
After what I swore was no more than a minute I noticed something....I didn't hear anything. No vroom vrooms of his play car, no tinkering with his toy tools, nothing. I called his name expecting to hear a "Yeah, Mama?" but got no response. I walked out to the front porch where I saw the one gate pulled open and no Anthony in sight for as far as I could see....which is straight across my 5 acres both directions. My heart fluttered and my throat got tight. I called his name again 2 times and listened. No response.
I ran back inside and checked his room and the bathroom just incase he had slipped back inside without me realizing it. No Anthony. I slipped on my flip flops and ran off the porch to the left of the house. I know sometimes he likes to wonder behind the house so that's where I ran to first. As I reached the back with no Anthony in site, I began to panic. My heart was racing. And I could feel tears starting to well up. I screamed his name 2 more times, though I know the 2nd time was little more than a quivering squeal because I couldn't get his name to come out of my mouth. No response.
I turned and doubled back to the front of the house and peered in both directions again, wondering if he had decided he was going to go off for a walk. The past couple of days we've been taking walks down the mile long dirt road after Papa gets home from work. Maybe he thought it would make for a grand time to take a walk? Oh Jees, it was all I could do to keep from throwing up. I decided before I went running down the road calling every neighbor I could think of with my cell, I needed to check the shop and car port area. He likes to play over there too even though I hate it. I reached the shop area and screamed his name. No response.
I remember saying out loud, "God, please just let me find him. I was only gone for a minute! Just a damn minute!" Just as I was about to turn heels and start running down the driveway to the road, I caught a glimps of movement inside one of our cars. It was Anthony. I ran to the car and threw open the door. There he sat on the front seat of his Papa's car playing with a wrench. I was so overcome with relief! I let out a big sigh and felt all my panic melt away. He looked startled to see me standing there peering down on him. I'm sure the look on my face was just priceless. He smiled at me and said, "Cool car, Mama! See?" "Yes, Anthony. I see you're in the cool car. What are you doing over here! You don't play in here! Didn't you hear me calling your name!? I couldn't find you, Anth!! Is that Papa's wrench? Come here, give me a hug."
It only takes a minute. Not even....it only takes one second. Just one.
I finally went in and got the results of the MRI for my scoliosis I was telling ya'll about a while back. I was suppose to go in a week after getting the MRI done, but I had to cancel that follow up appointment and then completely forgot about it after that. HA! So I finally got my butt in this past Friday and was told exactly what I knew I'd be told: the MRI is clean and other than the obvious scoliosis (which remember they say in and of itself does not cause pain) there are no obvious reasons for my back pain. Blablabla. I paid a co-pay of $25.00 to hear a guy tell me my spine is indeed curved, but there is nothing causing my actual bones any pain. *sigh*
The good news is, well the clean MRI is good news, lol, but the really, really good news is I really liked the orthopedic I saw this time and was able to have a little chat with him. He told me that when there is no obvious cause of pain (like a tumor, broken bone, dislocated disc, etc.) then the pain is called idiopathic pain and pretty much means it is unknown or can not be explained. He gave me a strength and stretch exam and told me I needed to get my butt into a physical therapist, gym, get a personal trainer, what have you and strengthen and stretch all my muscles to help support my back to gain better posture, thus relieving hopefully much of my pain. The pain I'm feeling is not my bones, it's all the surrounding muscles....that's why my back pain, according to an ORTHOPEDIC, would be considered idiopathic....because they specialize in bones and so that's where they were looking for the pain....my bones....but there is no pain in my bones, lol. Make sense? I didn't lose anyone, did I?
Now if you recall from my previous posts on my scoliosis, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT ALL ALONG AND JUST NEEDED/WANTED SOMEONE ELSE TO CONFIRM so all the fuzzy thoughts of it possibly being something more would vanish from my mind. Wish granted. Why's it so hard to get an answer sometimes? Thank you, Mr. Nice Orthopedic Funny Mind Reader guy!
Next step? Option A: Find a gym. How much would that cost me? There's one in my town but who would watch my kids when I went? No one. Well, maybe this one gal pal of mine. But IDK, I'd have to ask really sweetly. :) I could go after the hubby got home from work, but that's dinner and family time. Why would I want to leave and drive the 25 minutes to the gym, spend the time at the gym, then drive the 25 minutes home when I could be tickling, coloring, and eating ice cream with my family? I know there are gyms in the town by my town.....but that's an hour away. Though maybe there would be one that had a day care type thing that would watch the kids while I worked out? I might have to do some research. But really though, an hour away? I'd be lucky if I had the motivation to go once a week, let alone the every other day thing I should be doing.
Option B: Buy a Bowflex. Yeah, with what money? Aren't those things like a gajillion dollars? Even on Craigslist they are still pricey. Would any of ya'll be willing to start a "Help Rebecca Beat The Back Pain By Buying A Bowflex" fund?? That would be super rad. Option C: Learn some good stretches and perform them at home on my toy filled living room floor. Maybe buy a few free weights and do the moves I remember doing way back when, when I did go to physical therapy. I'd be very limited with what I could do with a few free weights and wouldn't be getting the best workout, but it's better then nothing, right?
Wish me luck. I'll sit on my options for a bit before deciding on what I'm going to do. You'd think it'd be simple to just head to the gym. But nope, it's a chore. Children first. Always. I can't just chain them to a bike rack while I go work out. ;)
I'm all about the sunshine, warm weather, kiddie pool, lemonade, etc. etc. In fact, summer is my 2nd favorite season (Fall is dearest to my heart). And of course it can't be summer without June.
My birthday is in July, so we have to get through June to get to July.
My daddy is flying in this July to spend two weeks with us. My mother in law is also flying in this July for a visit. And like I've already stated, we have to get through June to get to July.
My BFF from growing up is flying in for a visit for the very first time this September. We have to get through June to get to September.
So I should be super super stoked that it's June, right?
June is the month my babies turn 1 and 3.
True, their party will make for a grand time (I hope) and I'm excited to watch them in all their wonder eating their cake, opening gifts, playing around.....But honestly, why does June think it can just stroll on in and make my babies a year older? :( Wasn't it just yesterday I was holding a newborn little Molly in my arms and my 2 year old little guy was staring in wonder? That wasn't a WHOLE YEAR ago, was it? I refuse to think that the coming years will fly by just like the previous ones have. I'll be reduced to tears if I sit here and dwell on the fact that I can not control time and keep my babies from getting older. *sigh* I really did beg June not to come.
So for all those that don't know, Anthony's birthday is June 27th and Molly's is June 28th. Pretty cool, huh? We've decided to throw them a joint birthday party on the 26th. As they get older we'll do the same joint party, but have each one pick what they want to do on their special day. I think that will be fun.
Anyway, so I've been planning and pulling things together for their party:
Sent out invites on FB
Sent out invites in the mail
Went to the Dollar Store (I'm a Mama on a budget) and picked up all the plates, cups, napkins, utensils, table cloths, balloons, etc.
Ordered and wrapped birthday gifts
Tried to get people to RSVP. Got sad when many friends and family said they weren't going to attend. Got excited when at least my grandparents and one aunt and uncle said they'd be coming. Gone back and forth on whither I should beg/cry to get people to come. Ultimately decided to keep my cool....kids b-days aren't such a big deal to most people (even though I take the time and go out of my way to attend other people's events). Wow, I need to control my sad bitterness before someone thinks I'm a big crazy, whiny, meanie head. After all, sometimes people really do have ligit reasons they can't make it. But not always. I've done mini photo shoots with both kids so I can have cute pictures to display at the party.
Gotten our sandbox all set up for kiddos to play in. Gotten things together for our kiddie pool for kiddos to play in.
I still have to think up a menu. I'm thinking burgers and hot dogs with side dishes like brown beans, homemade mac-n-cheese, fruit and veggie platters.We were thinking of doing one big cake. Then thought maybe two separate cakes. Then saw at the Dollar Store they have these individual pie slices that are NO LIE, delicious!! Wouldn't that be something unique to do-get tons of individual pie slices? I don't know. That's still all up in the air right now.
What's the date today, the 7th? So that's like 19 days until party time and 20&21 days till actual b-day time. Oh gosh golly. Times a tickin'.
I got Anthony a tie a while back and after looking up on the internet how to actually tie the tie (LOL, funny, I know!) I decided it was time for a photo shoot with my little man! He cooperated for a short while, then was becoming a little grumpy butt. But changing the location to outside was a grand idea that worked wonders for his mood and gave me the natural light I wanted. What a handsome little man you are, Anthony Carl. Mama loves you.
I was just saying how I've wanted to get some baby photo props. I've taken photos of a few infants now and with the upcoming baby photo shoot I've got of my friend's little gal, kara, its made me really want some baby photo props.
I thought about it all last night and this morning I decided I just needed to take the plunge and buy some and stop my wishing. So! I got on Etsy, a favorite site of mine, and ordered....
(Photo credit to Live Love Laugh Photos)
....this adorable pink and brown striped pixie hat for $14.00! YAY! I already have a brown/autumn colors striped looking one I've used on a friend's little boy, so this pink one will be perfect for any little gal!
I also ordered....
(Photo credit to little rosebuds photography)
....a stork pouch!!!! I got this design in an ivory color for $25.00. I'm super stoked about this buy. Of all the things I've wanted, I've been eyeballing this item the most! I just think it is such a clever idea and will make for some really sweet photos!! I love how little one's tiny fingers and toes and even whole feet can stick through!
Etsy is a fantastic site to buy all things handmade. I love it! The tutu in Molly's tutu photo shoot came from Etsy, as well as the hat she was wearing in the photos. I've also bought a tie for Anthony I plan on using for when I do a photo shoot with him. :)
Other things I wish I had for baby photo props....little baby angel wings, a fringe blanket for placing in baskets and chests and things like that, colored cheesecloth to use as wraps on preggo bellies in maternity photos, knitted "cocoons" that you place baby in and fit them like a glove, BIG plates/bowls/teacups to place baby in/on....ahh the list could go on. :)
Hopefully they get shipped out and to me fast. Kara will be 2 weeks next Tuesday and her Mama wanted me to take her 2 week photos, but I don't really know if she wants them done that day or just in that general time frame. We'll see. Ahh! Excited!