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Monday, August 16, 2010

Don't Blink

Molly looks older today for some reason. She looks older today than she did just yesterday.

I went in to get her from her nap and there she sat in the middle of her crib, big beautiful blue eyes looking up at me, grin on her face, hair swooped to the side. She looked older than her 14 months. I can't say how or why, but she did. She just looked older. Just seemed older. I couldn't stop staring at her. I couldn't stop wondering if I had just gotten a glimpse of the little girl to be.....a glimpse into the future.

How incredibly bittersweet.

You know she can wave now. She'll give a little wave and mutter what I believe to be her rendition of bye-bye and then toddle off. She might even stop and look back at you and wave again.

You know what else she does now? She blows kisses. Must have picked it up by watching Anthony and I blow kisses to each other. She puts here sweet little hand up to her sweet little lips and blows. She doesn't follow the kiss through the air with her hand yet, but I don't mind. I know she's directing the kiss my way and that's all that matters.

God I could cry.

And you know how you go, "Shhhh" and put your finger up to your lips? Yeah, she does that too. Though her finger goes in her nose instead of on her lips. Good try though.

And yesterday I asked her to go to the drawer and, "Get Mama a wipe!" and off she goes, heading to the end table that has a drawer with wipes in it. Anthony jumped in front of her and did it himself, so I didn't actually get to see what she would do, but I have no doubts she knew exactly what I wanted and would have done it.


Recently, if you tell her, "No Baby, that's a no-no" she'll put her head down and act as if she's aware she shouldn't have done whatever she was doing. Either that or she is pouting. Sometimes she storms off crying to her room only to return and lay her precious little head on your lap and give you the sweetest grin. As if she could do no wrong and her smile fixes everything.

And when you lay down on the floor, she goes and gets one of her blankies and lays down with you.

She answers to Baby. That's what I call her. When I talk about her, I call her Molly. When I talk to her, I call her Baby. "Come here, Baby." "What are you doing, Baby?" "Anthony, go get Baby." "I love you, Baby."

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June 28, 2010 Molly's B-day, Photo by my Mama

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July 22, 2010 Photo by my Mama
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August 14, 2010 Photo by me


Will she be my baby tomorrow?
Or will she be this new Molly I've seen today?


With love,

Mama Hauck

2 comments:

  1. One day you'll look back on times such as these with a tear for what once was and is no longer, but also a smile that you lived it and savoured every second.

    The more we pour ourselves into a moment the more we realize how fleeting it is. But in investing every ounce of ourselves we're experiencing it to the fullest. It's all we can do, and all we can ever hope for.

    The sadness comes not in these moments fading away. The sadness comes when these moments fade without us realizing how precious they were until after they're gone. You're building some incredibly beautiful memories now Rebecca, and I know they'll stand the test of time. They will be as vivid to you twenty years from now as they are today.

    You put an incredible amount of heart in your writing. As you know I never had desire to have children of my own, quite honestly I've had little interest in even reading anything related to children. That your writing captured me on first read speaks to the amount of joy your kids bring you, that you feel such a strong need to share it.

    This is a love I'll never experience. I think it almost upsets you to hear that. But when I read what you've written here, and when I go back through what you've written in the past it makes me feel that much closer to the experience. And it's a great feeling.

    Some day Anthony and Molly will have grown, maybe have children of their own. When you find yourself feeling melancholy perhaps you'll remember these words...

    "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. You always have such kind words for me that help make me feel better. Thank you, Barry!

    ReplyDelete

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